How Was Iowa?



When I told friends and family that I was going to the Iowa Writers’ Workshop for three weeks in July they’d routinely ask, “What will you be doing?”

Taking a class. Workshopping my novel. The first part of the answer was easy. But the living in Iowa for three weeks part was more stymieing—what would I be doing all day?

I knew all about what it’d taken to get there. The years and years and years of practice. The toil of perseverance. The luck of a random day in January when with snow piling up outside, I searched for the proper spelling of an author’s name whose writing I admired and there it was…summer in Iowa at a famed institution of literary learning. Yes, please. So, I applied. Months later when I was offered a spot, I was overjoyed. 

But as the day to leave approached jitters bubbled up and out of me. Where the heck even was Iowa City? Who would the other students be? What if everyone was mean and I wanted to come home? Also, if I couldn’t answer a simple question like what would I be doing all day—why was I even going? Thankfully, I got on the plane with doubts and luggage in tow. 

Upon touching down in the Corn State, the first thing I noticed was how holy HOT it was. By the time I’d walked the seven feet from my Uber to the diner where I would kill time before my apartment was ready, I’d stripped down to bare clothing essentials. I’d soon learn that modesty had no place in an Iowa heatwave. 

The second thing I observed was a chalkboard on the diner wall listing the day’s flavors of pie-shakes. Turns out blending a piece of apple or blueberry or chocolate pie into a milkshake is a thing in Iowa. If you have questions, so did I. The only real way to answer them is to taste. Yum, yum, yum.  

I could go on and on about Iowa City. The glad-you’re-here, let-us-know-if-you-need-anything-but-otherwise-we’ll-let-you-do-your-thing nature of the place. The casual but intentional symbiosis of the practical and artistic. Street sculptures and author plaques embedded in sidewalks and in public spaces.

Then came the real reason I was there. To honor my lifelong love of words, the novel I am working on, and the creative life I’ve built. To walk in the footsteps of literary giants and soak up their inspiration. 

I was in good company. My classmates came from all over the country and world. They’d forgone professional opportunities to attend, shelved summer vacations, one person was getting married two days after the class ended. We all very much wanted to be there. With each other. Even though we’d just met. 

We held space for the chapters of life that had brought us there, before quickly getting down to the actual chapters we’d brought with us. We read and listened and wrote—on repeat. Workshopping works-in-progress that ranged from the deeply personal to the profoundly absurd. The writing was wonderful. The process invigorating. 

The author and mentor who’d chosen us to be the beneficiaries of her experience displayed generosity far beyond the words. Holding our writerly dreams up alongside hers.

One day flowed into the next with surprising ease. Pages got critiqued. Friendships were cemented. We even witnessed a Midwestern summer storm complete with tornado warnings.  

Then, just as quickly, the experience was over. It was time to pack up my things, sip one last pie-shake and head home. To field the seemingly simple question, “How was Iowa?”

And to have no adequate response. Because some experiences change you at the molecular level. And the only way to honor the journey is one word, one page, one novel at a time.

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Some are tentative in the morning. Preferring the softer glow of afternoon. Others are up early, ready for dawn's invitation. 

Many start out with great promise, but wither quickly without roots. Or are scorched by too much light. Or the downpours that come all at once or not at all but rarely in moderation. 

Others are predestined. Made mighty through careful engineering. Sturdy as they join their counterparts.  

Some are scrappy, emerging from a tangle of vegetation. Bending and swaying, eager for their time with the sun. 

Whatever the journey, they—like us—arrive. Ready to be tested. Analyzed for productivity. Admired for their beauty and grit. 

It's the growing season—summer in the garden.





Last Saturday



It was a beautiful spring morning. Birds chirping, buds bursting, the sun finally showing up to make us all proud. The day was embarrassing in its perfection. 

I however felt dusty and dazed, perplexed on how to handle the situation. The situation being spring.

There was of course a long list of to-dos. The usual rights of spring passage.

Leftover leaves in the beds. Edging and mulching before the weeds arrived. The bushes needed a good trim. 

Then there was the garage. It was like cold weather gremlins had roamed the shelves moving hammers and extension cords. Tucking the most used items in the least likely places. 

I normally love a good clean. Organizational feats are a go-to activity for me. What’s better than tangible momentum? But five minutes into a routine examination, I had nothing. The usual surge of excitement was nowhere to be found. Just like the garden hose.

I retrieved a seat cushion from the tippy top shelf and made my way to the back deck where we’d left the furniture frames out. Not our normal routine. 

I’m pretty sure my husband and I were both hoping that winter would take the tired set-up out of commission. But there it was, not much worse for the winter wear. Looking all useful and ready. 

I sat down, squinted into the sun. 

“Now what?” I asked my faithful companion. 

Daisy yawned before circling in place and plopping down for a nap. She wasn’t changing her routine for this gorgeous day. Canine wisdom being what it was, I decided to follow her lead and went inside to retrieve my current read. A dark thriller set in the Scottish countryside. 

Only this time when I returned, I found the shade. Not a speck of sun was going to ruin the mood. 

Spring in New England was notoriously flaky. Well, two could play at that game.

This year instead of throwing open the windows and welcoming the season with the vigor of a Disney princess, I would let spring get its act together, be more consistent, before I decided when to commit. 

Reclining on the weary outdoor furniture with green grass glowing in the distance, I opened my book preparing to return to the mist on the Isle of Amberley. 

And that’s when I saw it—still attached to the side of the house. The garden hose. Apparently, we’d left that out too. 

What the actual heck. 

We’d thrown literal caution to the winter winds. Four long months of it. 

And here spring was with or without my willful participation. Mother Nature doing her thing while I did mine. The weeds were already growing but so were the flowers.

I would join in the springtime parade...eventually. And on that yet-to-be-determined day, the garden hose was ready. Without me having to do a gosh darned thing. 

 



The audacity of 

sipping scalding coffee

On a frigid morning.

Unsettled, anxious, craving

Common sense?

Inspiration.

Nowhere 

while staring 

At the computer. The paper. The tv.

 

<< silence >>

 

Selfish 

(or courageous?)

To try

and fail

Many states of rage

Removed.

 

<< silence >>

 

Nowhere near enough.

Also, too much. 

SHOWING UP to

Create. 

With the audacity of

an artist’s heart.